In A World Of My Own
by gleeme33
Summary: When he was seven or eight, he assumed she was his imaginary friend. When he was ten or eleven, he decided that he had outgrown imaginary friends, and tossed her aside to the recesses of his mind, to forever be forgotten. And she wouldn't stand for that
1. Author's Note and Full Summary

_Author's Note_

Okay, I can explain my lack of updating.

The school musical – We did four shows in two days, and I was the lead.

The World Geography Fair – Like the science fair, but on a country, plus a five-page paper.

The term paper – seven pages on some random person's life.

Plus, finals are next week :( But then…graduation! Yay! High school here I come!

Anyway, no idea what this is, but I thought of it while backstage at intermission (bad time) and grabbed my Mac (it was in the theater because we were all working on the World Geography Fair _and _the term paper! Gahhhh!) And typed this up :) It might sound kind of far off, but give it a chance, and I think you'll like it. Dedicated to my BFFs on here. (You know who you are!) Anyway, this might be due to _Alice in Wonderland _overload, but…here we go. Thanks and enjoy.

_Full Summary_

He'd always thought that she was a dream. Just a dream. Or a trick of the light. Or his imagination running wild. When he was seven or eight, he assumed she was his imaginary friend. When he was ten or eleven, he decided that he had outgrown imaginary friends, and tossed her aside to the recesses of his mind, to forever be forgotten. And she would not stand for that. But if he wouldn't let her into his world, then maybe, just maybe, she should let him into hers. So then, there comes the question. In this perfect world, with her, why does he have to go back?

_Couples_

Finchel, Quick, Klaine, Brittana, Wemma, and more may come in later.

_Friendships_

Finn/Quinn, Santana/Kurt, Kurt/Rachel, Kurt/Finn, Puck/Blaine, Finn/Blaine, and more may come in later.

**So…? **


	2. Prolog

**Okay, this is just the prolog so it isn't from anyone's POV since it's the first chapter and I have to start somewhere. Wish me luck with this one! Thanks and enjoy. **

_Prolog_

Finn remembers seeing her for the first time when he was three or four – preschool. Pre-K was scary – Finn had never done anything like that before – and didn't know what to do or where to go or how to make friends. The night before, full of three-year-old anxiety, he saw her. Well, he didn't really _see_ her – just as any three-year-old would see their imaginary friend for the first time.

She was pretty, with long dark hair and big brown eyes. She'd always smile at him, and even sing pretty songs with him sometimes. He never just plan spoke to him, though, but only on rare occasions. This was odd because it seemed that when she did speak to him, that she loved talking to him. It stayed this way throughout his young years. Once he hit grade one, and he was reading aloud each night, he'd read her his stories, and she'd listen attentively with a giggle here or there.

She was always just _there_. And, through the years, as he grew up, so did she, but the problem was that no one else seemed to see her. When he was about ten or eleven, his mother had a talk with him when she saw him talking with her.

"Finn honey," she said sweetly. "I think we need to talk."

"About what, Mom?" Finn asked. "And, could we talk later, ya' think? Me and Rachel are – "

"Baby, that's just it," she said. "Finn, you're to old for imaginary friends. It's time to let Rachel go her own way."

"But Finn!" Rachel squeaked, even though his mother had no idea that she was even in the room. "I…I don't want to go anywhere!"

"You don't have to, Rach," he whispered to her, taking her hand.

"Finny, I'm sorry, but I'm putting my foot down. This is becoming a…problem." His mother swallowed hard. "I think it would be a good idea if maybe once a week you could…talk to someone for a while. Maybe they could help Rachel go away – "

"But I don't want to go away!" She yelled his ear. "Make her stop, Finn! _Please_!"

"Mom, I'm not talking to anybody about anything and Rachel's not going anywhere!" He screamed.

But, about a week later, he was dragged into a therapist's office.

"Son," said Dr. Fine. "She's not real. She's not really there. And she never will be."

Finn was crushed.

"But Finn…I don't want to go away! Please…don't make me! They're just trying to – "

"Rachel!" Finn interrupted her. "Stop it! Don't make me say it! Please!"

"Say…what?"

"Rachel," he took a deep breath. "I don't want you anymore. I don't need you anymore. You're not really here, Rachel. You're not real. And you never will be."

So she left him for what he thought was forever.

But now, somehow, she is back.


	3. A First Kiss

**Inspiration provided by **_**Funeral**_**. Thanks and enjoy.**

_Chapter One_

_Finn's POV_

Since that day, she went away, never to be seen again. She wasn't real. She _wasn't_. No – she was a manifestation of a condemnation of three-year-old fear, and the sadness all around me when my dad died. She was never real. She was never there. And she never will be. At least…that's what Dr. Fine would say. He explained it all – the dreams about her, how I thought I could just so faintly hear her voice – it was just overactive imagination combined with anxiety.

But then I turned fifteen. It was freshmen year.

"Hi, Finn."

I swear to God I saw her.

"Oh, um, hi Quinn."

"So…I was thinking…" She was there again. Somewhere. Somehow. "Do…do you want to go to the movies or something?"

"Yeah, Quinn…I'd love that."

We saw… … …well, I can't remember the movie. I remember I bought her popcorn, though. She wanted to pay for her ticket and I wouldn't let her. I remember that much. We watched whatever movie it was, and barley talked the whole time. About half-way through the movie I held her hand, and she smiled at me. Then at the end of the night, before her dad pulled up to the movie theater, we kissed. It was both of our first kisses. It was sweet, I guess. And…nice. Yeah, nice.

My mom picked me up and the ride home was awkward as she asked me if we held hands, or did this or did that.

"I kissed her, Mom…" I half-whispered.

"You…you kissed her?"

"Yeah. It was good."

"Well that's…good, Finn. That's really good. Great."

"Yeah…" I said. "Great."

But that night was the highlight of the whole evening. She was there that night. I heard the whispers of her voice again, almost singing to me.

"I know you're there," I said. "But…you can't be. So just do us both a favor and leave me alone!" She…giggled at my remark.

"It's not like I'm a ghost, Finn. I'm not haunting you. You created me. You're the reason I'm here. So if you want me to leave so bad, then make me leave."

"I…can't."

"But you _can_," she whispered. "You're the only one who can make me do anything."

"Then why can't I see you like I used to?"

"Because…" she stopped herself.

"C'mon," I said. "Tell me!"

"Why won't you say my name?" She shot back with a question of her own.

"What?"

"You know very well what my name is! _You're_ the one who thought of it!" She stopped completely, and for a second or two, I thought she was gone. She started laughing again, like she was shaking her head. "When you were younger…" she started, and then took a long, hard breath. "When you were younger, you were just so…good. Sweet. Nice. You're mind was like a candy store and you're imagination was like a toy shop. Everything was happy, and perfect, and there was no pain or sadness or darkness. But then…"

"But then…?"

"You grew up." She said in a sad monotone. "And…and you didn't need me anymore." I could have sworn she was crying. "I never told any of the others, but I was always the favorite," she went on. "Yeah…yeah, I was. You loved all your imaginary friends and thoughts and ideas, but I was always front and center. You used to love me…"

"Who said I ever stopped?" I interrupted her. There was no answer for a long time, and I thought she was gone again, until she said:

"Say my name, Finn. Please."

"But…why…?"

"_Please_. Give me a name. It doesn't even have to be the same as the old one. Just give me a name."

"I…I…can't…"

"Why _not_?"

"Because that makes you real and you're not!" There was silence again, until she whimpered:

"Not real, huh? Then what does that make me?"

"_Imaginary_! You said it yourself!"

"And…that makes me _not real_? _Fake_? A _phony_?"

I couldn't respond right away.

"Yes. Yes it does. You are _imaginary_, and _fake_, and a _phony_! But most of all you're _not real_!"

And just like that, she was gone again.

**Review?**


	4. Laments of the Forgotten

**I was away, so this is only a half-chapter. Based on the Lewis Carroll poem here. My last day of school's tomorrow. :) Don't worry – I **_**will **_**update more to celebrate! Thanks and enjoy.**

"…_Still she haunts me, phantomwise,_

_Alice moving under skies_

_Never seen by waking eyes._

_Children yet, the tale to hear,_

_Eager eye and willing ear,_

_Lovingly shall nestle near._

_In a Wonderland they lie,_

_Dreaming as the days go by,_

_Dreaming as the summers die;_

_Ever drifting down the stream-_

_Lingering in the golden gleam-_

_Life, what is it but a dream?_" – Lewis Carroll, _Life Is But A Dream _(also known as _A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky_)

_Chapter Two_

_Rachel's POV_

_..._

Remember the days when you were young?

Carless, happy and innocent?

Each day you'd dance and sing and play

Each day was so magnificent.

You used to laugh and giggle; smile and dream

You used to adventure, and wonder

How your young-yet eyes would gleam.

Nothing was a mistake; nothing was a blunder.

Have you ever

Gone back to such a time?

Such a mystic place?

Have you ever

Wondered why you left

Such a beautiful space?

Won't you please

Come back with me

To those pretty, pretty days?

I know a place

Where we can go

Where you'll meet you're childhood haze.

The happiest days will never end

Together, we'll be free!

So, please, please –

Won't you come with me?

Take my hand; you'll see.

Come away with me.

Come away with me.

Take my hand; you'll see

You'll see

Come away with me.

I miss those happy childhood days

Those times we played together

We'd laugh and giggle and sing and dance

Any time or any weather.

Now, and still I don't know why…

You banished me away

However, I still sit here and wish

You'd ask me back one day.

The happiest days will never end

Together, we'll be free!

So, please, please –

Won't you come with me?

Take my hand; you'll see.

Come away with me.

Come away with me.

Take my hand; you'll see

You'll see

Come away with me.

"Finn – _please_! Don't leave here to die!"

"Give it up, Berry!" Alexandra, a girl who was younger then me, yet taller then me, yelled over my cries. "He doesn't care about us anymore! Don't you get it by now? We're left here to die."

"Alex, you w – "

"– were never as important as you? Yeah, you don't think I know?" Alexandra was like my sidekick, or understudy. She had lost all hope.

I, however, wasn't one to give up so easily.

"Finn wouldn't abandon us!" I stamped my foot on the ground – yes, I really did…I was that upset. _Or… _I thought. _He wouldn't abandon…me… Didn't he…care about me? _

"Rachel…" Alex whispered. "It's just not worth it anymore. I'm done. Maybe you should except that we're all done now."

Done…

She means…_dead_.

Last week, Aaron, Alex's brother, was here with us.

Now…he's…

_Done. _

"No, Alex…_no_! I'm not done! I'm _not _done!" I felt tears forming in my eyes. "I'm _not _done. _Finn_'s not done. I'll get him back…" I paused for a minute, catching my breath. "I'll get him back."


	5. I'm Alive

**So I've been away from fanfiction for a while (working on an original piece) but here I am! :) Based on the **_**I'm Alive **_**scene from **_**Next To Normal, **_**so lyrics are: **_**I'm Alive **_**from **_**Next To Normal**_**! Sorry this is short, but like I said, this original piece demands my attention! Thanks and enjoy.**

_Chapter Three_

_Rachel's POV_

"So, Finn," the stupid doctor said, beckoning him into a chair. "You haven't been here for a long time…since freshman year, correct? Why do you think your mother made this appointment with me, hmm?"

"Honestly, Dr. Fine, I don't know," he said. "I really don't!"

"_Yes you do_…" I whispered. He gave me a dirty look.

"It's alright, son," said that bad man sitting across from us. "Why don't we just have a little chat, okay? Why don't you tell me…why don't you tell me about times when you were happy recently?"

"Happy?" he repeated. "Well…I was happy when we won the championship game…when we won Regionals…when…"

"Are you happy when Rachel comes around?" The doctor cut him off, but I smiled as he said my name. Finn stiffened at the sound of it.

"What?"

"Why don't you tell me about her?"

"_Yeah, Finn!_" I yelled in his ear. "_Why don't you tell him about me?_"

"Tell you…about…"

"Why is she still around?" he interrupted Finn again. "Who is she? _What _is she?"

_I am what you want me to be _

_And I'm your worst fear, you'll find it in me_

_Come closer_

_Come closer…_

"Where does she come from, do you think?"

_I am more than memory, I am what might be _

_I am mystery _

_You know me_

_So show me_

_When I appear it's not so clear if I'm a simple spirit or I'm flesh and blood_

_But I'm alive, I'm alive, I am so alive_

_And I feed on the fear that's behind your eyes _

_And I need you to need me, it's no surprise _

_I'm alive, so alive…_

"Finn, wouldn't she be sixteen now?" He narrowed his eyes – _evilly _if you ask me. "Isn't it that time when kids want more freedom? You do, don't you? Shouldn't you give Rachel that freedom, too?"

_I'm alive…_

"Four times a week?" Finn slammed the keys down on the counter when he got home, after having already slammed the door. "Mom, _four times a week_!"

"_That's a lot, isn't it_?" I added.

"It's just what the doctor recommended to me, Finn," his mother said, meeting my eyes and not his.

"_Thanks_, Mom!" Finn yelled sarcastically. "That's comforting!"

"This isn't about your_ comfort_, Finn!" She snapped. "It's about getting you _better_!" Finn shook his head, and left the room without another word.

"_This_ isn't _going to get better_!" I yelled at her. "_I'm _never _going away_!"

_I am flame and I am fire_

_I am destruction, decay, and desire_

_I'll hurt you_

_I'll heal you_

_I'm your wish, your dream come true_

_And I am your darkest nightmare too_

_I've shown you_

_I own you_

_And though you made me, you can't change me_

_I'm the perfect stranger who knows you too well_

_But I'm alive, I'm alive I am so alive_

_And I'll tell you the truth if you let me try._

_You're alive, I'm alive, and I'll show you why_

_I'm alive, so alive…_

"Don't listen to her, Finn!" I told him. "Don't listen to that bad man! Listen to _me_! You can't trust them! They're just trying to take me away from you…to _kill me_! But…but you trust _me_…don't you?"

"I trust you," he whispered. "I trust you, Rachel."

I smiled. He said it. He _finally _said it.

"Good," I whispered. "Then come with me."

_I'm alive_

_I'm right behind you._

_You say forget but I'll remind you._

_You can try to hide but you know that I will find you._

_'Cause if you won't grieve me, you won't leave me behind._

_Oh, how, oh_

_Whoa_

_Whoa_

"Isn't time you…let her go?" His evil, evil lies rang sourly in Finn's head.

_No, no, no!_

_I'm alive, I'm alive, I am so alive._

_If you climb on my back then we both can fly_

_If you try to deny me, I'll never die!_

_I'm alive, so alive…_

"Finn, please," I whispered. "They're _lying _to you! You can't trust them…but you've _always _trusted me! Look at me…" he did. "_Please_…"

"Okay."

_I'm alive!_

_Yeah, yeah_

_I'm alive_

_I'm alive_

_I'm alive _

_I'm alive! _


End file.
